One of the best things about exploring your sexuality, whether by yourself or with a partner, is that there is always something new to try. Enjoying yourself in the bedroom is about letting your guard down and trying new things to discover what brings you the most pleasure.
Whether you are new to anal play or are looking for a way to switch things up, analingus might be the next best addition to your sex life.
Even though the term “analingus” might sound new, we promise it’s an easy and exciting act. You might even be dipping a toe into this activity without knowing it.
We are here to give you the ultimate guide to analingus: what it is, how to do it, and times you might want to use it.
What is Analingus?
You may have heard of analingus, aka “rimming.” It’s a pretty simple concept that revolves around pleasuring the anus. Unlike anal masturbation, this sexual act requires at least two people since it involves a mouth and an anus.
The beauty of analingus is that it can look different depending on the person, making it adaptable to whatever you and your partner enjoy. It usually involves licking, sucking, and kissing the anus with extra hand or finger stimulation.
Analingus is usually called “rimming” because most of the activity occurs on the rim of the anus rather than inside. Analingus can be foreplay for penetration or anal play, but we can get into that later.
Who Can Do It?
Another great feature of analingus is that anyone can do it! Unlike prostate milking, which is another form of anal play that requires the receiver to have a prostate, analingus can be done by and done on anyone of any gender or sexual orientation.
It might be a great way to introduce anal play if you are hesitant to jump into anal sex. Analingus can familiarize you and your partner with what brings you pleasure around your anus, and you can get comfortable with the feeling of your partner spending time in the area.
Analingus can also be the solution to repetition in your sex life. If you and your partner are finding yourselves repeating the same positions and experiences, you might be looking for a way to switch things up. Analingus can bring in an entirely new erogenous zone, allow you to experiment with shifting power dynamics, and experience a new sexual activity together.
Safety
Like any other sexual activity, you should think about safety beforehand so you can relax and enjoy the moment during the play.
Cleanliness
First, it’s no secret that the anus sometimes gets messy. However, this should not deter you from experiencing the pleasure of anal play. Instead, you just have to ensure the area is clean so your partner does not risk getting harmful bacteria into their mouth.
First and foremost, you should go to the bathroom 30 minutes to an hour before any analingus to reduce anxiety about a potential accident. Afterward, wash the area with a skin-sensitive soap and warm water. Rinse the area thoroughly so no leftover soap gets in your partner’s mouth.
Lastly, if your partner has a vagina, be sure not to switch from analingus directly to cunnilingus (pleasuring the vagina, vulva, or clitoris with your mouth). Doing so can transmit harmful bacteria and lead to yeast, bacterial, or urinary tract infections.
STIs
Although analingus might seem like a safe sex act, it can also lead to the transmission of STIs. Some STIs transmitted through analingus include genital warts, syphilis, hepatitis, gonorrhea, and herpes. You want to reduce the risk of contracting any STIs and practice extra caution if you are with a new partner.
Although a traditional condom won’t be helpful in this case, you can use a dental dam to protect yourself from STIs. A dental dam is a latex sheet that you can place on the anus before oral stimulation.
These sheets are extremely thin, so the receiving partner can still feel your tongue and mouth on their anus. Dental dams can be purchased online or in select stores.
Douching
If going to the bathroom and cleaning the area with soap and water does not feel sufficient for you, you can explore the option of using a douche to feel extra clean.
If you have never used a douche before, we are here to help you walk through it and get rid of any hesitations you may have. It is an easy process that takes no time at all.
Once you have bought a douche, you should always start by cleaning the nozzle with gentle soap and warm water. Once it is clean, you can fill the bulb of the douche with warm water and put the nozzle back on. Next, apply a thick water-based lube to your anus and onto the nozzle of the douche. Try our Wicked Jelle Water Based Anal Lube if you need skin and douche-compatible lube.
Next, find a comfortable position; many people find it easiest to sit on the toilet, squat over a towel, or squat in the tub. Slowly insert the nozzle into your anus and squeeze the bulb to push the water inside. Clench your muscles to keep the water inside for 10 to 15 seconds and release the water.
You can repeat this process as much as you want until you feel clean. Douching is not necessary for rimming, but it might make you feel more confident, especially if the rimming might lead to anal sex.
Talking to Your Partner
The first step in incorporating analingus into your sex life is to bring it up with your partner. If you are in a relationship, you should feel comfortable bringing up any desires or needs you have in the bedroom. Communication is the foundation of a good sex life; we can’t read each other's minds.
However, we get it if you are nervous or embarrassed to bring it up! Although anal play is normal (and totally amazing), bringing a new desire to a partner requires us to be vulnerable, which can be scary.
If you want to take some of the focus off of yourself, you can tell your partner that you saw rimming in porn or heard about it from a friend. You can ask your partner what they think of it before sharing your thoughts. Your partner might be just as interested in it, and you don’t even know it!
How To Do It
Now that you understand what analingus is and how to prepare for it, it’s time to discuss how to do it. As we said before, there are many different ways to perform analingus, and it will depend largely on what your partner likes. However, we have a few tips and tricks to make you feel more comfortable and confident while trying it for the first time.
Warming Up
If the goal is to move to penetrative sex, analingus could be considered foreplay. However, we recommend incorporating foreplay even before analingus. Discuss incorporating analingus into your session before beginning so you don’t take your partner by surprise.
Slowly make your way down to that area by making out with them and slowly kissing their body along the way. You can look at your partner as you move down and ask them, “Is this okay?” Going slowly and asking them if each step is okay with them can build anticipation and make the experience hotter.
Lastly, a body massage might be what your partner needs to feel relaxed and ready for the experience. Try massaging their back, butt, and thighs. A massage will encourage their muscles to relax, which will also encourage the muscles around their anus to relax.
Tongue
Once you and your partner are ready to move on to analingus, you might be wondering how to best use your tongue, lips, and hands.
Start licking the areas close to the anus, including the inner thighs and butt cheeks. Once you are at the anus, you can think of the tongue action as what you would do if you had an ice cream cone in front of you. Start using long, slow licks flat against your partner’s anus.
After warming up with your tongue, you can start to get experimental. Try stiffening and softening your tongue while licking to see what your partner likes more.
Similarly, ask your partner if they prefer when you can lick from side to side or up and down and how much pressure feels best for them.
Lips and Teeth
Kisses (with or without tongue) on and around the anus are usually a crowd-pleaser for analingus. Start by kissing their thighs, stomach, or back before making your way to the anus. While kissing the anus, try sucking on the area to give your partner extra stimulation.
Although using your teeth may seem painful or like a turn-off, we promise it can feel exciting. However, before you start using your teeth on your partner, be sure you warn your partner they might feel a little nibbling down there.
Start by running your teeth lightly along the inner thighs — this will almost guarantee some goosebumps from your partner. We don’t recommend nibbling the area directly around the anus because the tissue there is sensitive to tearing. However, biting the butt cheeks can be a major turn-on.
Hands
Once you feel comfortable using your tongue and lips on your partner’s anus, it’s time to incorporate your hands! If you find it difficult to multitask, you can take a break from using your mouth on their anus to stimulate other body parts with their hands. However, if you can do both at once, we are sure your partner will thank you.
You can start playing with your partner’s nipples by pulling or squeezing them. Be sure to ask how much pressure feels good for them since many people have nipple sensitivity.
If your partner has a vagina, use your fingers to stimulate their clitoris or penetrate their vagina with your fingers. However, be sure you are using fingers that haven’t already been near their anus. Using clean fingers will reduce the risk of bacteria transmission.
If your partner has a penis, you can stroke their penis with your hands or caress and stroke their balls. If your partner prefers a good amount of pressure in your touch, you can scratch their back while using your mouth on their anus. Similarly, with consent, you can squeeze or spank their cheeks.
Breath
Another great way to stimulate the area and give your partner full-body shivers is to use your breath. After getting the area wet by licking and kissing, blow on it with a nice, long, slow breath. You can make your breath hot or cold, giving your partner different feelings — be sure to ask what they prefer.
Lube?
Now that we have discussed how to perform analingus, you might be wondering if lube is necessary for the act. Although we recommend using lube for almost any sexual activity, lube isn’t totally necessary here. You won't need any lube if you are only kissing, tonguing, or sucking the anus.
However, lube is necessary if you are planning to insert a finger into their anus or use an analingus to lead to penetration with a sex toy or a penis.
If you don’t want to interrupt the flow, you can apply the lube before any rimming takes place. However, make sure it's a safe, fragrance-free choice.
Positions
If all of this sounds great and exciting, but you aren’t sure how to position yourself or your partner, we are here to give you some easy positions to try. Once again, there isn’t a specific way analingus needs to be, so feel free to experiment with positions.
One of the easiest positions to start with is doggy. To do this, have the receiving partner get down on all fours on the floor or the bed. As the giving partner, you should kneel behind them and adjust their butt to a height that makes the anus easily accessible for you.
If you are comfortable with a doggy position, you might want to move on to other positions. If the height difference works between you, the giving partner can bend over a chair or the bed while you kneel behind them. Or the receiving partner can lay on their back, with some pillows under their hips for height, holding their knees to their chest while you crouch in front of them.
Play around with positions and find what works best for you. Don’t be afraid to get creative and try new things!
Foreplay for Anal Sex
Rimming is often used as a warm-up for anal sex. However, that doesn’t mean that if you say yes to analingus, you consent to anal sex. Be sure to talk to your partner before a session to ensure you are on the same page about that night’s activities.
Lube
As we said before, if you are going to be penetrating the anus, lube is a necessity. If you don’t want to worry about the lube getting in your mouth, you can give your partner analingus and then take a moment to pause and put on the lube before continuing with anything else.
Whether using a prostate massager or a penis, use plenty of lube. Be sure to thoroughly coat the anus and the head of the penis or sex toy. As we said before, you want to make sure the lube is fragrance-free, thick, and water-based. If you need a reliable choice that checks all the boxes, check out our Ride Water-Based Lube!
Warm Up
Now that you have applied enough lube, it’s time to work your way up to penetration with a prostate massager or a penis. Although the analingus before can count as foreplay, you still want to make sure your partner is fully relaxed and ready before jumping into anything.
A great way to start is to use your fingers, so lube them up. After kissing and touching your partner, slowly slide one of two fingers into their anus. If your partner has a penis, the goal is to stimulate the prostate, a small organ inside the anus that is a major pleasure center.
Your fingers only need to be about two inches inside your partner to find the prostate. Point your fingers toward their belly button and try to find a fleshy bulge that feels different than the surrounding tissue. If your partner suddenly feels like they have to pee when you press on it, you are in the right spot!
You can use various techniques with your fingers, including tapping on the prostate, making circles, using a “come hither” motion, or stroking it. Be sure to ask your partner what feels best for them.
Prostate Massager/Penis Penetration
Once your partner tells you they are ready to move on to the next step, you can penetrate them with your penis or a prostate massager. If you use your penis, be sure to use lube.
As you slide in, go slowly and encourage your partner to take slow deep breaths the entire time. Like analingus, if you are new to the activity, doggie is an easy position to try. This position makes the anus easily available to you and should hit pleasure points for both partners.
If you are using a prostate massager, like our Tomo II or Vulcan, make sure the tip is covered in lube. Slowly slide in the head, and wiggle it from side to side until it is fully inside. We design our prostate massagers to fit comfortably within your anus, so if the receiver is experiencing discomfort, take the massager out and try again.
Our prostate massagers have vibrating capabilities guaranteeing prostate stimulation, leading to a mind-blowing orgasm. Some even come with straps for the penis or scrotum to provide extra stimulation.
Time To Get Rimming
Hopefully, at this point, you know what analingus is, how to do it, and what you can potentially pair with it. Just remember that the goal of any sexual activity is to have fun and feel pleasure, so don’t feel too pressured if you have never done it before.
Talking to your partner is the most important thing to do when trying out rimming. Even if you have done it before or consider yourself a pro, your partner might prefer different pressures or speeds than you are used to, so listen to what they enjoy.
Analingus can be a great part of foreplay that leads to other kinds of anal play. If you want to incorporate penetration into the session, just use lube, go slowly, and check in with your partner throughout the experience. Happy rimming!
Sources:
Can I get HIV from having my anus licked? | Planned Parenthood